I have sole physical and legal custody of our three kids and my exwife has supervised visitation. At this point, she's got her act together and I no longer require the supervision.
Under our agreement, my exwife has the kids overnight only if it is at her mother's or other situation pre-approved by me. Otherwise (and usually), it's every other weekend Friday after school till 10PM and Saturday 10 AM - 10PM. No overnights. There's a requirement that there be a separate boy and girls room and each kid has their own bed. I've waived the supervised visit requirements and when she want's to see the kids outside of this schedule, the answer is an automatic yes. Her mother has moved and my ex lives in a one bedroom apartment with a sleeper couch, so no overnights for now (it was never a lot).
Anybody have any thoughts on overnight visits in this situation? Everyone that I know either does alternating weeks or every other weekend with a mid week. All with overnights. Most tell me that it's her issue to deal with, not mine, but I feel like the kids are missing out. It also pins me down a bit waiting on her, but it's not a big issue for me. If I'm out, I just pick the kids up at her place on my way home. I should also add that I have no concerns (anymore) about the kids spending the night, only that there be suitable arrangements (mostly their own bed in a gender specific room). I'd like to think this out before bringing it up with my exwife. It seems like a conversation that I can't unhave if it doesn't go well.
I don't mind if they all cram in to her little apartmen on occasion, but I'm not a big fan of it as a regular plan. Camping is fun, but there's a reason we don't always live that way.
She's kind a broke, so demanding that she get a three bedroom apartment might be a stretch. Maybe set it as a goal? We can switch to alternating weekend overnights when you get a bigger apartment.
Seems like the only other option is to rotate who spends the night and let them go one at a time and sleep on her pull out sofa bed. Any down side to that?
Am I over thinking it? Her plan for our divorce was that I have no overnights. She thought it best that I just visit the kids three Sunday afternoons a month and only do overnights on holidays and vacations. She did spend a lot of money trying to prove that she didn't believe in sharing custody. Maybe she's cool with things as is (I doubt it). I don't want to bring it up until I'm sure about what I'm willing to do.
TIA X