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So - my divorce was final is December. My ex remarried in January. I am leaning toward changing my name back to my maiden. I have 2 small children (ages 7 and 5) and they are of course my biggest concern. Does anyone have any advice? For those who have changed their names, does it make life difficult having a different last name than your children?
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Hi Kate,
I decided not to change my name after my divorce. I know my oldest was capable of understanding, but I didn't think that my youngest two would understand why I changed my name to something that wasn't theirs. I didn't want them to think it was somehow a dis of their father, his family, or distancing myself from them. Kids really don't understand divorce and can sometimes jump to weird conclusions. I also was concerned about changing it again if I re-married.
I will say that keeping my ex's last name made it easier dealing with schools and such (if nothing else, it's just one less thing to have them screw up). I've since remarried, taken my new husband's name (dropping my ex's but still keeping my middle and maiden name in my legal name). There is bit of confusion that wasn't there when my name and the kids was the same. Schools, coaches, scouts, parents of kids friends, etc... The only real issue I've had was once trying to pick up my daughter at a summer camp. They had dealt with my ex-husband exclusively and when I showed up to pick her up on the last day, they were reluctant to give her up because my name was not the same as hers on my driver license. They had to go find the paperwork (my ex had me listed as a contact allowed to pickup). It's not a big deal, but it is a thing. Not enough to sway if changing it was important to me.
To make things easier, I've kept my ex's last name in my public persona. In the email address that the schools have it's hyphenated, and my Facebook name is first, maiden, ex's, and my hubby's names. It's long, but it helps old friends find me and people see the link with the kids.
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 1 user thanked JennyD for this useful post.
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Hi Kate, When we married, I kept my name for business reasons, so when we divorced, there was nothing to do or statement to be made. For me, there were a bunch of weird interactions due to names. I thought it would be because I chose to keep my maiden name, but in reality, it was people assuming that we were divorced. Maybe just predicting? In the end, It's all about what you want and what makes you feel most comfortable. It's your life now. Live it the way you want to. Edited by user Friday, June 12, 2015 6:26:21 PM(UTC)
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Rank: Newbie
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I changed my name back to my maiden name after my divorce. It's been a little over a year now. I did it because I was mad and I knew it would bother him that I got rid of his last name and he had an affair, I knew he would marry her and I didn't want to have the same last name as her. He did marry her 6 months after our divorce. It does add to the confusion of everything. My kids don't have a problem with it, they are school aged. So what I've been doing is anything related to them I use my married name, that way we have the same last name, unless it's a legal thing, but for paperwork for school, camps, etc.. I figure it's not a big deal. Everything else I use my maiden name. Does that make sense?
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