I've been divorced for over 4 years and have kids (ages 17 and 13) 99% of the time.  I moved to a small town 8 years ago with my then husband because he got a job.  I left my family, friends, and church.  He moved 2 hours away but I stayed because I was thinking of the kids.  Now I'm here, alone, with no real connections.  I have friends, but they are all married, and I found out that they went to a winery last night and I wasn't invited.  I'm not the type to wallow in self-pity, but that's what I'm doing.  I found this site and joined because I feel like no one understands me (I sound like a teenager, sorry).  I plan on moving back to my family in 5 years after my son graduates high school.  What do I do until then?  

Hi Ashley and Stacey, welcome to the DM forum!

My children were 14 and 7 when my ex left and we divorced. I made the mistake of making them my entire life. I felt guilty about the divorce and over-compensated by focusing all my engergy on them. It was a huge mistake on my part.

We all need adult company and fun away from the little ones. You have to take the bull by the horns and put yourself out there. Neither of you mention whether or not you are dating. If you are, put some extra effort into that. Join an online dating site and if someone seems the least bit interesting explore the possibilities there.

I joined a couple of meetup.com groups. One was a book club, the other was a political action group. I met interesting people and make some great friends via both those groups.

I understand that you both live in small towns and that can be a hindrance when it comes to meeting people and socializing. You might try volunteering for a local organization or joining a church single's group. And, if you are feeling left out when your couple friends have get togethers plan your own with just the wives. A girls dinner night or wine and cheese night can make up for those times you aren't invited along with the couples only activities.

And, if push comes to shove consider moving closer to your family. You don't want to uproot a child who is a junior or senior in high school but kids younger than that can handle a transition to a new school. Especially if it means you being happier in the long-run.

Cathy