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Offline Beverly  
#1 Posted : Saturday, May 24, 2014 8:25:02 PM(UTC)
Beverly

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I think that my son-in-law is abusing my daughter. My daughter has become withdrawn, and she is making excuses not to see me.   Things have slipped out like how angry her husband is at times and how he punched a hole in their bedroom wall when he was mad.  When I ask her if everything is ok she says its fine.  But I know it isn't.  How do I help her?

Offline Jolie  
#2 Posted : Saturday, May 24, 2014 9:40:05 PM(UTC)
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Oh, that is just terrible! I can't image, as a mother, how that would feel. Maybe if you just come right out and let her know, that you know something is fishy. My ex was abusive and he had me terrified to talk with anyone about it. When I was going through that I think the thing that would have helped me was assurance from someone that I wasn't alone and that I could open up and not keep it a secret.

It would have been especially helpful if it had come from my mother. Talk to her, let her know that whatever is going on that you are her main support system and she can always turn to you. If she is slow to admit it, she will at least know who to come to when she is ready to seek help and support.

Good luck!

Jolie~

Offline DM Editor  
#3 Posted : Sunday, May 25, 2014 6:49:50 PM(UTC)
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Excellent advice Jolie and, based on your personal experience even more valuable.

Thanks for sharing!

Cathy

Cathy Meyer
Founding Editor
DivorcedMoms.com
Offline Beverly  
#4 Posted : Sunday, May 25, 2014 8:29:32 PM(UTC)
Beverly

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Thanks, I will talk to her. I hope she is receptive, I'm worried that she is going to continue to deny what's going on and then where will she be?  I will let you know what happens.

Offline Pennie S. Heath, L.C.S.W.  
#5 Posted : Saturday, May 31, 2014 12:18:18 AM(UTC)
Pennie S. Heath, L.C.S.W.

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Keep us posted, that is so terrible. He needs locking up.
Offline Beverly  
#6 Posted : Saturday, May 31, 2014 2:29:10 PM(UTC)
Beverly

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Well, I tried to talk to my daughter and she refuses to admit that anything is wrong.  So I just said that I am here for her. I am watching her like a hawk - or a mama bear!  I'm so worried, if I push to hard she will entirely shut me out.  But what if something awful happens?  I can see she is confused and in pain.  

Offline C.C.  
#7 Posted : Monday, June 2, 2014 7:09:35 PM(UTC)
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I'm so sorry!  I will be thinking of your daughter and you and hope that she opens up about it soon. 

 

Offline Liv  
#8 Posted : Wednesday, June 4, 2014 12:54:12 AM(UTC)
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Sometimes it's hard to see the abuse yourself through rose coloured glasses. Unfortunately, I know from experience that no one can "tell" you it's time to get out of your abusive marriage. You have to come to that realization yourself. Just stay strong - and supportive. If you're able to, you might put aside a nest egg for her. Call it a loan, or whatever. When she needs to get out, it may be quick and she may need money fast. I was lucky when I got out that my mom had a cheque ready for me. I've paid back the money, but I don't know that I can ever pay her back for the support she gave me.
Offline Beverly  
#9 Posted : Friday, June 6, 2014 1:53:24 AM(UTC)
Beverly

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Liv that was really helpful.  I told my daughter that there is money for her whenever she is ready.  I said I don't need to know details, I am in no way judging her, but it is her money if she needs a break.  She didn't say anything, but she hugged me tight and I know she is thinking hard about things. I guess that's all I can ask for at this point.  I pray she stays safe.

Offline Liv  
#10 Posted : Friday, June 13, 2014 11:40:55 PM(UTC)
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Me too Beverly. Me too.
Offline PaulAckles  
#11 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 4:59:00 PM(UTC)
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I was too thinking of your daughter and you and hope that she will opens up about it soon and you must talk with her again and again.
Offline sadmomma  
#12 Posted : Monday, October 17, 2016 5:46:20 AM(UTC)
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Sorry to hear that.
Offline shelly66  
#13 Posted : Monday, November 28, 2016 8:04:12 AM(UTC)
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Offline pearly  
#14 Posted : Wednesday, November 30, 2016 5:54:56 AM(UTC)
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That's a real bad situation, if things go way too out of control, I think you should get him locked up.
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