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A Dad looking for some perspective on shared expenses
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Joined: 2/3/2015(UTC)
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I'm a divorced father. I apologize if posting on this forum is unwelcome. I looked at the guidelines and didn't see anything that suggested that I would be unwelcome, but if that is the case, please remove this post.
My ex and I are disputing what bills should be paid by me and what should be split between us. My decree requires that I pay all medical premiums for the insurance of our children and I do that. My ex and I split any extra costs. The decree does not specify anything about vision or dental. It is my opinion that she and I should split both extra costs incurred in these areas as well as the EXTRA cost in premiums that I pay for vision and dental.
She believes that I should just pay these premiums 100% just I as pay for the medical insurance. She stated that she knows many divorced dads who do just that.
She has primary custody and I pay child support. She also makes more money than I do, so that is not necessarily a factor. I am looking for some perspective from women who are in a similar situation. Am I out of line? Should I just pay this even though I am not legally obligated?
Just to clarify, we do split the medical, dental, and vision costs that come up on top of the cost of carrying insurance. We are disputing whether or not she should pay half of the cost to carry vision and dental insurance. Thanks for any input.
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/1/2015(UTC)
Posts: 4
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Hi Tex,
My ex and I share parenting time and custody 50/50. Because I make more than him AND he pays for the kids insurance, I pay child support, even though we have the children equal time and there is no "primary custodian". The child support calculation included an adjustment for medical insurance. It added up what we each made, what the insurance cost was, how much time the kids were with each parent, and then came up with a monthly number that was required for the children and then we each were assigned our share based on the ratio of our incomes. Do you have those calculations from in your divorce paper work? If not, there are some on line calculators. Try to recreate the numbers.
I'm not sure what the legal answer is, but for us, insurance is insurance. The fact that we need three separate companies to get it is immaterial. Medical, dental, and vision were included in the "insurance cost". We split all of the co-pays and non-covered expenses (including glasses or contacts if we needed them) on a ratio (the same ratio that was determined in the original child support calculation). For us, it was 60/40 when we separated, but my ex's career is taking off and mine is stagnating, so I'm expecting that this year it will be close enough to 50/50 that we can dispense with it. Neither of us struggle financially.
So all that to say, how was your child support calculated, in detail? If the cost of dental and vision was in that number, then your ex-wife is right. If it was not used in the calculation, then, your ex-wife is right (because the agreement says you pay the insurance), but you could ask that the child support number be recalculated, and then it would go down to reflect your actual contribution towards the support of the children. I would to the math before I made a big deal out of it (what will it cost to get corrected?). At least then you can show that what you are asking for is fair.
My ex and I have a clause that the support number be recalculated every two years. We have to exchange income tax and medical premium info. There is also an out if there is an extraordinary change of circumstance (like losing a job) or an error.
Keep it factual and it should all become clear to both of you. Then it is just a matter of you guys being fair to each other.
Best of luck,
Lumen
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 6/20/2015(UTC) Posts: 8  
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A Dad looking for some perspective on shared expenses
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