I have been divorced for almost 6 years now. In those years my ex & I have seldom been able to get along civilly, especially if he was in a relationship (there have been quite a few) and the reasons are somewhat mind boggling. IF he is not in a relationship is much easier yo get along with. However the past few years have been quite unbearable for myself and our 4 children. He refuses to communicate with me and only goes thru the kids, usually our 16 yr old daughter. She absolutely hates being put in the middle, but in my opinion, she allows him to do so by not standing up to him and telling him to contact me. Of course I am the one she unleashes her fury on. My ex & I normally only communicate by text, especially the past few years. Recently he stopped responding to my text altogether, tells the kids he didn't receive a text, and even then will not communicate with me!
My question is...besides going thru the court, is there any way to get him to communicate with me & me only? I'm not talking about him not being allowed to speak/text the kids, I'm talking about planning visitations and issues that should be discussed between just him & I? He also refuses to let the kids contact me when they are with him. My kids have to sneak text to me or sneak a call to me when/if he is not with them.
Only after our divorce and through counseling for myself did I become aware of his controlling, compulsive, narcissistic behaviors. I have learned to distance myself from his hurtful ways but it seems now he's moved his focus to use the kids to get to me.
Help!! I am at a loss and unfortunately going back to court really is not an option as I cannot afford it & he would most likely (because he can) drag court out as long as possible in an effort to cause me more financial difficulties. He's done it twice already voicing that HE can afford to.