Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/11/2015(UTC)
Posts: 2
|
So I have been separated for 9 months now and am in the middle of a divorce. I have a restraining order against my ex and so parenting time has come down to every other weekend. Problem coming up is with the holidays. For thanksgiving that weekend happened to be his weekend and so i gave him the holiday plus one day more ( 4 days with our son) and now this coming Christmas happens to be his weekend as well. He had the audacity to try and have him for that day too. I tried to make adjustments so that he can have him for christmas eve and i get him for christmas day but he decided to be a total idiot about it. His lawyer's quote "____ has decided to forgo enjoying the holidays this year and just spend Friday to Sunday with ____" The idiot keeps using the excuse that since our son is 4 the exchange is very difficult. REALITY CHECK the exchange will always be tough. He just doesn't want to give up the holiday because he is using 2014 as his excuse that he wasn't with his son. My lawyer told him 2014 is now irrelevant. As always, he isn't getting what he wants and is acting like a baby. My only problem is that when the real divorce agreement is done how should I proceed? That will be written in stone and will not be changed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/3/2016(UTC)
Posts: 2
Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)
|
I wish I had advice but I don't. I have an uncooperative ex that I think his main goal is to make my life hell. I more or less wanted to reply for support. I understand and am sorry you're going through it. Some people genuinely are assholes. Unfortunately. Keep your head up and stay positive. Find supports and use them, stay inspired and be strong.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/1/2016(UTC)
Posts: 1
|
I am sorry to hear about your dilemma. I have an angry, difficult ex and every step of the way for the past six years has been nothing but difficult.
My advice:
1. Make sure whatever is in your agreement you can live with and stick with. Draft something yourself and have alternating years for all holidays, including the summer holiday weekends.
2. DO NOT GIVE HIM EXTRA TIME, because he will always expect it. When dealing with a difficult ex they are never satisfied. If you give an inch, they take a yard. You have to remember their sole purpose is to make your life miserable.
3. Keep a journal of time, holidays, and any disagreements. It will come in handy if you ever have to go back to court.
I hope this helps! Stay strong for your mental health and for your son. xo
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/29/2016(UTC)
Posts: 2
|
Hope you're still holding up neha63. Christine Nanfra is totally right though about keeping a journal. Best advice I ever got was in the beginning of divorce I was told by someone who'd been thru it to document everything. Easier to jog your memory when you can look back on what you've written down.
Don't know the specifics of your situation, but Christine is right about the extra time too. I'd avoid accomodating your ex with the thought he'd do the same for you. Can't speak for everyone, but rarely seen that work for someone going thru divorce and afterwards.
In my divorce we met with a mediator to setup visitation and dates who has the kids, etc. So far it's worked but in the divorce decree it clearly states that kids are specifically here or there with no exceptions. The consequences of not following the schedule are pretty clear too so if not followed there's nobody to blame except the one not following them.
Hope you have support to get you and your son thru everything. Way I've gotten this far was to tell myself everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you have to meet a few frogs to get to prince charming or the other side of the rainbow. It will get better! Stay strong!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.