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Going through the Big D and don't mean Dallas
Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/28/2014(UTC) Posts: 3
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Sigh. Defeated, depleted, and so unsure of the future. It's hard putting a positive spin on this divorce since it will be my second and I didn't want this to happen :(
He had an affair and while I'd love nothing more than to work it out and have the marriage we both want, who and I kidding? Why try to spend the rest of my life with someone that did this? That knowingly lied countless times and continues to lie over and over?
I'm waiting for him to be served. He knows it's coming. I can't wait to feel better.
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Rank: Member
Groups: Administrators, Registered Joined: 5/14/2014(UTC) Posts: 22
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Crud! How long have you two been married? Was there any evidence before you married that he would cheat?
Only you know what you will and won't put up with. Many marriages survive cheating and come out the other side stronger. For me, I might give it a second chance if it were a long-term marriage and there were children involved.
It it's short-term though you got to believe them when they show you who they really are...a cheater. Like you, I'd find it hard to get past the lies.
Here is some good news, something you probably already know since this is your second divorce...you will feel better. Give it time!
And, welcome to the new DM divorce forum. Happy to have you here.
Cathy |
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/28/2014(UTC) Posts: 3
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We have been married 7 years. We have tried to make it work for the past 5 months, but haven't been successful. He says he can't live under a microscope and won't go to counseling. I just don't think there is enough love there for him to continue. I feel like I've had no choice but to file for divorce and try to move on.
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/31/2014(UTC) Posts: 5
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I'm so sorry. I think that him saying he 'can't live under a microscope' and won't go to counseling after he has been unfaithful though kind of tells you everything you need to know about how invested he is in continuing the marriage. Turd. I always feel better after I call them names. Take care.
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/24/2014(UTC) Posts: 3 Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
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I agree with Pennie, he is a turd and from all appearances not invested in the marriage. There are consequences to infidelity. Someone who wants a marriage to work, willing accepts those consequences. If he doesn't think you and the marriage are worth living under a microscope it's probably time to move on.
Easy for me to say I guess.
Good luck!
Jolie
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/27/2014(UTC) Posts: 9
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I am sorry you are going through this. My husband cheated on me, too, and it is devastating. It helps me to know there are others who know this feels. I hope that you figure out what's best for you.
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/28/2014(UTC) Posts: 1
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I'm sorry you have to go through this but now you need to try to shift and start thinking about your future. Be sure that you assemble a team of advisors to make sure your rights are protected. Men and women handle divorce very differently. As women, we are more able to bless what we had and move on. Men tend to focus on the "failure" and since they don't want to be responsible for that failure, they'll project on to you and be angry! This is a very dangerous environment to negotiate your settlement. Know your state laws and be sure you have a financial plan for yourself. Good luck!!
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 6/14/2014(UTC) Posts: 3
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I understand what it's like to deal with a husband who has violated your trust then is not
invested in your relationship.
Honestly I thinki they like the idea of home, wife, family but only if they can also have their secrets, other women
and the power and thrills of living a double life.
I finally through in the towel after my husband's second long affair.
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 8/18/2015(UTC) Posts: 8
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Rank: Member
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Joined: 7/6/2016(UTC) Posts: 15
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I think you should give him sometime, i'm sure he would surely realize his mistakes.
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