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I have recently started dating someone who I really care for a lot. We have a great time together, my kids love him and he really cares about me. I have four kids and he has three. The only thing we ever fight about is how our divorces are different. He has sole custody of his kids and has them 24/7. I, on the other hand, share custody with my ex and he is involved in their life. My ex and I made an agreement that for the kids birthdays, we would both be there for the kids on their day and my kids really seem to appreciate that. I also take the kids when my ex goes out of town for work. The way I look at it, if my ex loses his job, he can not afford alimony and child support. It is worth the inconvenience to me but my boyfriend believes that I am still "in a relationship" with my ex and as long as I continue to do these things, I will never have room to allow another person into my life. I know that a lot of this is insecurity on his part and I do believe that he is trying to work on his behavior. But what he sees as me kowtowing to my ex, I see as doing what is best for my kids. Does anyone have any helpful words of advice on this issue?
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 6/24/2014(UTC)
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I think you are absolutely right, your kids come first no matter what. You can reassure him that your relationship with your ex is only as the father of your children. But if your relationship with him is going to continue and even progress, he has to accept, and support, that you will always do what's best for your kids and sometimes that will involve their father. You sound like a great mom
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 11/3/2014(UTC)
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Ashley,
What you are doing is coparenting with your ex and you are absolutly doing the right thing. Don't back down or apologize for working with your ex for the benefit of the kids. I can only hope that your BF's situation is such that coparenting is not possible.
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 2/1/2015(UTC)
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I would be very leery of anyone who has an issue with you co-parenting with your ex. I share parenting with my ex and have to constantly interact with him. Because I travel more for work, he frequently covers for me when I have to go on my parenting time. Things are peaceful these days and we work well together for the kids, but that doesn't mean either of us would consider getting back together. I'm glad that he's stepped up to the plate, but your boyfriends situation is simply sad. Kids need both parents. Don't let his tragic situation be your guide on how things should be.
Lumen
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Rank: Newbie
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