In August 2012 my ex and I separated due to him becoming abusive. He and his attorney, the mother of his best friend, dragged the process out so long that we didn't get a divorce until May 2014 - signed off on that following July. We had a Guardian Ad Litem, and mediation. I had an attorney in the beginning of the divorce but by the time mediation finally rolled around February 2014, he had to resign because my ex's attorney had drawn it out so long and sent so many letters, emails, calls, etc that my fees went through the roof and I couldn't afford him anymore. I had to go unrepresented into the mediation with only my father there for moral support, but the ex of course has his lawyer. Btw, he wasn't paying he a dime because of the nature of their relationship. Although the entire parental agreement we made that day (which took 6 hours) is in general a muddled unintelligible mess, I missed one very important word. He was living an hour and a half away then and there's a line that states, bascially, that if he relocates we are to revisit custody and visitation. Obviously I missed the "custody" part of that or I would have never agreed to it.

He's now using that to his full advantage, taking me back to court under the accusations that he is the proper parent to have primary custody and even went as far as to allege that I lied on previous financial documents asking the court for permission to subpoena previous employers (which they did anyway before getting judge approva), and asking for discovery to include bank records, etc.

I didn't win the divorce based on physical cruelty because the judge said I didn't have enough proof even though I had the injunction hearing paperwork where the judge signed off removing my ex from our then home for 6 months because of the abuse. He actually won on adultery because I openly admitted to beginning dating someone almost a year after our separation. I am not happily married to that person and am not ashamed of the courts ruling against me, but I am at the injustice served against me by not finding my ex at fault.

Since our separation my ex has continually refused any attempts at coparenting. When he told me this May that he was moving closer to us, I almost immediately sent a revised parenting plan that was very well defined and gave him a lot more time while making it all fair for everyone involved. I hate then man, but I love my kids and want him in their lives. That was over 6 months ago and he not only has never even wanted to discuss it but instead chose to file an action against me fighting for custody, alleged over payment of child support, and even claimed defamation because I eluded to him and his mother in my personal blogs.

Since his relocation he's been living in a bedroom at his attorneys house. I have proof he had his girlfriend around the kids on at least 2 overnight out of town occasions. He claimed his salaried job income on his financial declaration but failed to mention the almost equal income he receives from his self-employment. He has built up lie after lie and refuses to try to work anything out with me. He's gone so far in his hatred of me that one time when we were exchanging the kids for visitation, when I tried to tell him about our sons annual checkup he just rolled his eyes and walked away.

Quite frankly I was way too nice at mediation last year and gave and gave because I wanted to give him everything I could stomach giving him so he would just let it be over. I had no way of knowing it would leave me with little rights as their mother and no rules confining him to at least try coparenting before taking me to court. My plan was to begin working once the kids were back in school but of course the paperwork was served to me right when school started and I can risk getting a job and going through the process of setting up daycare to risk losing the job (as I did the one during the divorce) because of missed time from work for lawyer meetings, court hearings, Guardian Ad Litem visits, mediation, etc.

He knows I am stuck at home and he is still drawing this process out. Honestly, with everything I have against him, I wanna nail him to the wall - legally speaking. I can't afford a well paying daytime job and daycare just to risk losing another one or I might as well use my resume as t.p.. So now I'm faced with having to get some part time evening job (which will take me away from my kids the only time I have them because of school), take my away from my husband who works days fulltime, and we're looking at up to $2k in fees between the GAL and mediation, more lawyer fees, etc.

I'm at a loss. I feel like I'm always going to be fighting this narcissistic abusive manipulator unless I go through with the evening job and hope and pray this Guardian Ad Litem will see who I am dealing with and between her and the judge set my ex straight on who this is all really about and how much he's hurting the kids.

Any positive words? Advice? What am I supposed to do?